Guess who sent me this email?

firefoxshirtHey Adam,
I had to email you this right away.  I’m at work and just farted the biggest fart of my life.  I was taking a dump and it was like my butthole opened like a door to a cellar or something, and a thousand farts jumped out like a hurricane, all rolled into one.  I’m not kidding.  I farted out the depths of my colon dude.  It sounded like someone just stepped on a box, it didn’t even sound like a fart.  It sounded like someone slaming a door or something, and it smelled like someone threw a sack of potatoes on a sheep that had been dead for 3 days.  I mean, I now know what the inside of my stomach smells like.  No kidding.  Know what it smells like dude?  Spinach and oatmeal and steak from 1998.  I think I farted out bits of that omelette we had at the ASU I-Hop in 2000.  Anyway, I couldn’t stop laughing and thought you’d like to know.
Ever fart out your actual small intestine? I think I just did that.  I farted out food that’s still going through the absorportion process, so much so that I feel like I need some gatorade and saltine crackers.
Wait, I take it back — it smelled like pig farm near a highway in the hot summertime.  Like, an amusement park covered in puke right after a big hot rainstorm.  Man, that reeked.  I think, in retrospect, it smelled more like the bottom of the pile at Brown Elephant or the butt of some hipster’s jeans in an old record store.  Man oh man.

If you guessed Moveon.org, you are correct. And you thought November 5th was a good time to unsubscribe.

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