Ugh. So yesterday, I decided to clean-up my Facebook profile, applications and groups. As I’ve said before, all I really care about is that old friends can send me an email, and that my Star Wars guys display reasonably well. FB is getting incredibly slow b/c of all of these applications, but that’s another DOTD entirely. Yesterday, I took off 90% of the info on my personal profile — because all I really want people to know is when my birthday is so I can get infrequent birthday wishes — and guess what happened, you guessed it, a “Mini News Feed” published for about 10 minutes saying “Sandy Marshall is no longer listed as ‘MARRIED’ to Kate James.” Ugh. So do the math and cut to me getting emails, texts and phone calls from people wondering what the hell is up. I’ve felt that way about other people, like “Gosh, too bad that Andy Wahlstrom is no longer listed as ‘DATING’ Kathy Koblinger.” I learned too late that you have to adjust your privacy settings so that FB doesn’t send out those alerts. After 5 months of FB, if I visit your page, it’s either to write on your wall or to send you a message or grab your email. No offense, but I really don’t care where you got your concentration in Theology or if you’re “looking for friendship and networking.” Plus, if you don’t have the application with the Star Wars guys, you’re seriously missing out. Anyway, thanks for your concern and yes I’m still married to Kate and wouldn’t you know it that during the process of deleting tons of useless personal information online, that very same personal information created a disturbance in The Force. Or something.
Formed in 1997, Schad began performing sketch comedy on Chicago’s north side. The troupe has since performed at countless venues around the world including The Goodman Theatre, The Second City, Steppenwolf, Lollapalooza, ImprovOlympic, the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre (LA), HERE (NYC) and the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
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All content © 2010 by Schadenfreude.
Sandy: we may still be married, but we still don’t communicate. I beat you to the punch with this story. 2 perspectives, 1 website. Maybe we should have a point counterpoint show on WTTW?
Call me. Let’s catch up.
It’s because of this that I have always messed around with writing on People’s walls. I once wrote on Cenko’s wall that I saw him with a brown paper bag and 20 frozen dinners walking out of Jewel looking all sad and what was wrong.
He was inundated with things like, “You cool? What can I do to help.”
FB is fun, not gospel.
Kate, please disregard the voicemail I left you.
Oh, in that case, Phil please disregard the email I sent you.
Of course I was no longer dating “Kathy Koblinger”. I thought Kate was free. Now that I did an end-zone celebration in Kathy’s face, I guess I should scour the bowels of Facebook to see who else is no longer married.
@ Stephe: I love that bit, it’s just too funny.
@ Andy: I think Mr. Jeske is now dating Kathy Koblinger…
I was trying to figure out if I should fuck Kate first or Sandy first since they were suddenly free. I guess I’ll stick to fucking that dude at the rest stop. And Julie. Definitely Julie.
Joel, would you fuck me?
Only at a rest stop near Channahon. Be there in 45 minutes?
I love that you guys mis-proclaimed on Facebook yet you are telling the Schadenfreude.net reader that you are still married. Twitter it for fucks sake. or Tweet it. Or twat it. Or whatever.