Things To Do at a Meathead Bar for Fun

A couple weeks ago we all got together to go see Chicago Underground Comedy Chicago Comedy Series over at the Apollo. It was a night of stand-up goodness headlined by Andrew DeWitt (you may remember Andrew from such roles as “Canny” in the PBR Rent Parties, and “Rex” in our Christmas Card). A good night overall – but sadly, the Apollo is right on the fringes of Bug City. You know Bug City. That place where no one lives, but everyone comes out at night because every bar has either an Irish name, an ironic name, or an ironic Irish name? It’s like the training ground for wanna-be Billy Dec’s before they can hit up “Mother’s”, “Flesh” and “$17 Dollar Drink+Cover” down on Division. So there we are, about a dozen or so people, looking for a place to just grab a drink. Down the street from the Apollo is this place called “Prost” – it looks like it was setup in about 20 minutes. Picnic tables, HD TV’s and draft beer. I think they might also server pretzels, but I’m not sure. However, I am NOT SHITTING you about the picnic tables. And beer served in those boots that no one really knew about until after Beerfest came out. And the music… Oh God the music. It was every meathead anthem – from “Closing Time” to “American Pie” – I think they even played “Brown Eyed Girl” twice. It’s the kind of place that affirms that you have made all the right choices in life when you scan the room and see the douchebags singing along at the top of their lungs, searching for meaning in the bottom of a boot.

A little annoyed at the $4 Diet Coke, and looking for a little excitement – I notice there’s a jukebox on the wall right next to me. I wonder aloud if it’s hooked up to the sound system – and decide to find out. I put in my dollar (it’s one of those new-fangled digital jukeboxes where you just touch the screen) – and beginning scanning for just the right song… Lo and behold – she appears in front of me. It was in fact, advertised in the sidebar of the screen that this jukebox carried this album… hit the jump for fun and excitement
Beautiful – ain’t it? The bar was dumb enough to have, advertised, “All I Want for Christmas” from Mariah’s Christmas album… The gods were on my side – finally. So, with my dollar in, and the bar in the middle of a chorus of something by Dave Matthews – I hit “play”. Just as I had hoped, the music cut out – a second later the bar went silent, and the opening cow-bells of “All I Want…” begin to fill the room. In validation of my choice, one, ONE, drunk woman from the front of the bar yells, “Mariah! WOOOOOO!” And then, continued silence. It was like one of those moments that you see in a movie and you say to yourself, “That never happens in real life…” But it does. It did. And it was beautiful. Especially when 4 seconds later, the bar owner steps up, and hits the switch to go back to his music.

When everyone realized Mariah wasn’t on anymore – life returned to normal, loudness, general bar-goings-ons. However, our good friend Patrick said, “You should get your dollar back.” And he was right. So he starts yelling at the bar guy, who won’t even look at us. Patrick and I are yelling across the bar to the guy when Justin steps in. Now, I’m not exactly sure what Justin said…. But I do know that after a couple minutes, he hands Justin a $1 bill.

Then we left. Mission accomplished. A drink, and a little social anarchy. My goal is to see if this theory holds true. Trying to decide the next bar to try this trick on….

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