Never trust a man with sunglasses on the back of his head.

While we’re on the Cubs, here’s my Buck fifty (two cents adjusted for inflation). Okay, so I’m back from Los Angeles for this week’s fantabulous THEATRE ON THE LAKE!!! show (312-742-PLAY)…seriously, I dropped four hundy to come back, the least you can do is throw out $17. Anyway. This may have been hammered to death, but I had to mention it again because I was in town for literally four hours and had my beer spilled on me by an asshole Cubs fan. They ought to post them at the airport gates, “welcome to Chicago – SPLASH – who you lookin’ at, fag?”

I went to a friend’s show at Second City, which, last time I checked is not in the Wrigley Pavilion, but still, somehow, everywhere in this city there’s drunken asshole Cubs fans in every bar. So I’m waiting at the bar to order and for some reason these assholes are acting so erratic that they’re bumping against me at the bar, like, where am I going to go, further into the bar? They’ve cleared a twenty foot circle in the crowd so they can do whatever loud, violent bits they have to do, and everyone’s given them that space. I get bumped into again, so I go around the corner of the bar so they can do whatever they’re doing. Finally I get my beer but then have to walk by the traditional meathead game of “shove the other guy really hard.” and get knocked into, beer all over me. I’ve been in Chicago for four hours. Has this town always been one big BW3’s, or has it gotten worse? 

And yes, I Googled “Jock Toolbag” for the above image.