The Dude Who Answers His Phone While…

…in the crapper. I wish I was making this one up. Truly, I do. Public bathrooms are disgusting enough. Public bathrooms in large corporations are even dirtier. The two guys who just got into a screaming match in the offices both decide to hit the pisser at the same time, and they have to be mad at each other with their dicks hanging out. It’s almost like that scene from RoboCop – but in a non-Hollywood, lame way.

But I digress. When in the shitter – leave your phone at your desk, or have the decency to put it on Vibrate – or even SILENT – while flipping through pages of the newspaper. Last thing I need to hear while taking a leak is the “Monday Night Football” theme blaring from the tiny speaker of your all-important mobile phone. Oh, but it gets better. Instead of trying to silence it, you hear the process of the “folding” of the newspaper THEN he pulls out the phone and answers it. Answers it like he’s sitting at his desk. “Hello, this is Marc.” Really Marc? Really? Is it necessary for you to answer the phone while on the toilet at work? There should only be three reasons you answer your phone while in the stall -

  1. Honey – are you at the hospital, I’m leaving now.
  2. I have to finish some business, I’m leaving for the coroner’s office right now.
  3. Dude, I’m on my way right now, tell the ladies to NOT LEAVE.

Other than that, go to voicemail. Just because you have a phone that you can take everywhere doesn’t mean you SHOULD take it everywhere.