People Who Ask if I’m Being “Crabby”

Everyone has an off-day. You have one in a week – and then the next day, the moment you walk in the door and before you get out a “Good morning” – you get a “Are you in a crabby mood again?” WTF? Really. That’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I wasn’t until you just asked me. Now, even though I am in a good mood – I’m gonna be in one. In fact, I’m gonna elevate it to “Shitty” – and be purposefully mean. I’m gonna question who the father of your child is. I’m gonna swear like a sailor. I’m gonna suggest that you quit before you get fired. I’m gonna sigh really really REALLY loud everytime you say my name. I’m going to look you in the eye, and call you fat. I’m gonna live up to being crabby shitty. And it’s all because of you. Hope your happy. Hope you enjoy this day – whatever wrath was wrought was because you brought it upon yourself.

Next time – keep your mouth shut. Do what I do, assume everyone’s in a good mood until they give you reason to not assume so. That way, you just might get me in a good mood. OH. And if I’m in a good mood or not, don’t ever call me “Crab Pants”. That just REALLY annoys me.

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