Douche of the Day: Ben & Jerry’s

I’ll admit, I’ve always had a pretty big weakness for ice cream. Every single diet has been blown by giving in to Phish Food, which I continually hope is not named after the jam band, not that it would be surprising. Now, despite the wonder of their ice cream, there’s a 100 douchey things about Ben & Jerry. I mean, they named an ice cream after The Dave Matthews Band. Maybe I should stop there. Also, if McCain wants to turn the tide of the election all he has to do is hold up a picture of Ben & Jerry, or the fake guys that play them and say: This is what America will become if Obama wins. These guys. Maybe I should stop there with the perpetuation of liberal stereotypes, most of which are actually miners and autoworkers with no flowers painted on their faces. Oh, and the plays on words, Cherry Garcia, Martin Luther Cone, Strawberry Death Squad, whatever. But what really annoys me in this incredibly gay rant, is a couple of the new flavors. It used to be they’d mix up a few things and give it a gay name. Chunky Monkey, Chubby Hubby, neither of which contains any actual Monkey or Hubby. Is it just me or is the fact that Cheesecake Brownie combines Cheesecake Ice Cream and Cheesecake Brownies a little uncreative? That’s all. It was either this or get pissed about the Jeremiah Wright bullshit, which is still a story eight fucking weeks later. Has there ever been a cleaner candidate if THAT’s what’s sticking? Let’s develop a Humvee that can run on whacko’s and then go one degree of seperation on Bush and Cheney.

Shock & Almonds combines a tasty swirl of oily fudge in between shia-weet ice cream and sunni-apolitan swirls.