Douche of the Day: The Easter Bunny…if that is your real name.

easter_bunny.jpgAllright EB, aka The Eostre Bunny, we’ve had enough of your tributes to pagan Gods of fertility in the Springtime. Enough of your symbolism of a rejuventated earth through the symbol of a fetilized egg, the jig is up. Stop right there. Take off the ears and put on your little gold armor and scepter thing or whatever your wore in ancient Germany. That’s just me assuming all gods dressed like Wonder Woman, but the point is! – We should’ve shuffled your ass out of town after the 800th little plastic egg filled with three jelly beans and a tootsie roll. We all know this holiday is about feeling bad because you couldn’t go home because travel is expensive and ┬ásome holiday had to drop off the list. And Jesus! We all know you killed Jesus, where did you put him? You hear me Douchey Bunny, drop that foil covered symbol for the Earth Mother’s womb and tell us where you put Jesus! Reader, have a Happy Easter, but keep an eye on this guy, and lock up the good silverware.