Douche of the Day: Bellbottoms

cunningham.jpg Wait did I say bellbottoms? I meant Conservative Talk Radio, sometimes I get my outdated fashion statements mixed up. Aren’t we done with this yet? Yes, America was so peaceful with no war, a great economy and a balanced budget in the 90’s that something had to break, we’d lost the Russians, you couldn’t simply call someone a “commie” in Congress and earn the votes necessary to send someone’s son to war, but thanks to Rush Limbaugh we found a new enemy.

The enemy started innocently enough, the purveyors of political correctness, welfare moms, people using abortion as birth control. These 12 people were called “liberals”, we were told they were everywhere, and millions of enemy-needing people in this country suddenly gained a surrogate personality – a “conservative”, wow, now thanks to talk radio every truck driver became principaled political minds with a whole list of beliefs provided to them by the people that needed their votes and ratings most. Do I sound hotheaded? I should, you know why? Because Cincinnati’s 700 WLW home of Bill Cunningham was once a GREAT radio station, Home of The Reds, “The Big One.” Bill Cunningham, of course, is the latest in the line of people who have redoubled their efforts after losing their aim in the classic definition of “fanatic.” Do you REALLY think no American should vote for Barack Obama because his middle name is the same as a guy who’s never attacked us? Is that what passes for a good point these days? Bill, you’re the biggest poseur douche possible, many people are hearing your name for the first time, but I know you you douche, I remember when you just had a wacky late night show on 700 and then were provided this new personality by Rush Limbaugh

I used to listen to 700 from sunup to sundown. Morning Edition, Mike McConnell, Gay Burbank, Bob Trumpie, and then the Reds game or Bill Cunningham. Every day. It was great talk radio, it was the ONLY talk radio. Then talk radio started making national headlines with this Conservative movement and it turns out Bill Cunningham had no real personality to begin with as he switched pretty quickly. What a douche. Now he’s…whatever. “Ohio” might be the best word for what he is. I’m from Ohio and I think a lot of people in the midwest just like being pissed off, they love having an enemy and talk radio is so willing to provide that enemy. Like I said, this started as a revolt against our own comfort level, political correctness and welfare moms, and whoever was behind those two things and logging restrictions was a liberal, but now after the Conservative Talk Show Presidency, who got everything they wanted after Clinton gave them everything they wanted (never give a conservative everything he wants, HUAC anyone?) they’ve been so backed into a corner by getting their way and how horrible it went coupled with them taking no responsiblity – they’ve redifined liberal as…”everyone.” Nice argument guys. So you started with The Contract with America, lofty goals and ideals for all Americans to take back their country!…and now you’re down to making sure everyone’s aware that Barack Obama’s middle name is the same as the last name of the guy who never threatened us, who had no capability to attack us, who wasn’t harboring Al-Qaeda, and who didn’t attack us on 9/11.

Where I come from (Ohio) they have a word for people like Bill Cunningham – “Simple.”

Go Bengals.