Comments on: How Come Everyone Has A Stalker But Me?

By: fredmowery

fredmowery — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:21:58 +0000

Well, Adam did follow my awesomeness around for awhile. But no – this dude was called “Ken Muckenfuhs”, rarely bathed, had sex with an underage girl on my bed (and made a mess after what I assume was a quick withdrawl), put on white face paint, waved a gun at people in a UDF, moved to New Orleans to find other vampires, all the while had his underage girlfriend stripping to make money for him…it gets better.

By: Kate James

Kate James — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 05:49:33 +0000

Can Witt back you up because that stalker was/is Witt? And by jail you mean Los Angeles?

By: fredmowery

fredmowery — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 03:32:37 +0000

I lived with a stalker once. He’s in jail now. Or at least I think he is.

not sure why I’m bringing it up – guess I just wanted to roll with the posts. Oh, and he thought he was a Scottish Vampire, too.

Witt can back me up.

By: Sandy Marshall

Sandy Marshall — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 23:17:29 +0000

It’s ON PHIL. IT IS ON BRO.

By: Kate James

Kate James — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 21:41:00 +0000

Wait, so DON’T have sex with them? That’s probably why Garrison dropped the restraining order. It’s hard to get in on with someone when they legally aren’t allowed to hang out on your lawn.

By: Justin Kaufmann

Justin Kaufmann — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 21:21:41 +0000

I already have a couple stalkers. Here’s the key – don’t go all the way with them…sexually. Once you add that weird element in there, it is never the same and shit gets all crazy. Like you owe em something or something. And then don’t screw around with them again. Cause it just gets worse when you thought it might get better.

By: Kate James

Kate James — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 21:05:21 +0000

And you also give up too easily…

By: kjones1997

kjones1997 — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:16:29 +0000

oooooh. That sounds like a lot of work. hmmm. Nevermind.

By: Kate James

Kate James — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:02:30 +0000

Ken, I am sorry to break this to you, but you are far too normal and nice to be a “stalker”. You have a real job, you have a very intelligent, friendly wife and two adorable daughters, and when I see you “out and about” you are doing things like “taking your daughters for a haircut” and “eating at Costello’s”. That is a far cry from “trying to snip a locket of my hair” or “parking in the alley kitty corner to my house and then keeping a car length’s distance as I go to Trader Joe’s”. Also, when we chat, we have real conversations with verbs, nouns and anecdotes. If you want to qualify as “stalker”, there is a lot your going to have to work on…

By: kjones1997

kjones1997 — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:33:24 +0000

Um, Kate. What about me does not qualify as a stalker? I show up all the time when you walk around the neighborhood. I have a shrine to Zoe. Now I am pissed.
I’m gonna go stalk someone else. How ’bout Justin? Is he taken?