What am I doing wrong? Even Garrison has one? I was on Chicago Public Radio for almost three years and I got NOTHING. No fair! His super-fan sent him fun stuff like a petrified alligator foot, dead beetles and poems. And kudos to Garrison for dropping his restraining order. Taking out restraining orders sends the wrong message to would-be public radio fans! It was so obviously a misunderstanding. Would a “stalker” claim that “she and Keillor influenced each other’s creative processes”?? I seriously doubt it. I wish I could be creatively influenced by a stranger I’ve never met…
Formed in 1997, Schad began performing sketch comedy on Chicago’s north side. The troupe has since performed at countless venues around the world including The Goodman Theatre, The Second City, Steppenwolf, Lollapalooza, ImprovOlympic, the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre (LA), HERE (NYC) and the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.
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All content © 2010 by Schadenfreude.
Which item do you think was the final straw? The poems?
Kate, I never actually ever needed headshots. I only ever came into Suzanne’s to get a glimpse of you.
Marshall… You’re a dead man.
JK – the final straw was when she was able to get the poems to actually “nose/mouth whistle” just like Garrison. That really freaked him out.
PR – you’ve made my day. I can probably just remove this post now. I always wondered why you and Suzanne never took any photos even though you changed your clothes about 17 times in front of my desk. And just so you know, Sandy is having lunch downtown today. I’ll find out exactly where and you can “accidentally” bump into him…
Um, Kate. What about me does not qualify as a stalker? I show up all the time when you walk around the neighborhood. I have a shrine to Zoe. Now I am pissed.
I’m gonna go stalk someone else. How ’bout Justin? Is he taken?
Ken, I am sorry to break this to you, but you are far too normal and nice to be a “stalker”. You have a real job, you have a very intelligent, friendly wife and two adorable daughters, and when I see you “out and about” you are doing things like “taking your daughters for a haircut” and “eating at Costello’s”. That is a far cry from “trying to snip a locket of my hair” or “parking in the alley kitty corner to my house and then keeping a car length’s distance as I go to Trader Joe’s”. Also, when we chat, we have real conversations with verbs, nouns and anecdotes. If you want to qualify as “stalker”, there is a lot your going to have to work on…
oooooh. That sounds like a lot of work. hmmm. Nevermind.
And you also give up too easily…
I already have a couple stalkers. Here’s the key – don’t go all the way with them…sexually. Once you add that weird element in there, it is never the same and shit gets all crazy. Like you owe em something or something. And then don’t screw around with them again. Cause it just gets worse when you thought it might get better.
Wait, so DON’T have sex with them? That’s probably why Garrison dropped the restraining order. It’s hard to get in on with someone when they legally aren’t allowed to hang out on your lawn.
It’s ON PHIL. IT IS ON BRO.
I lived with a stalker once. He’s in jail now. Or at least I think he is.
not sure why I’m bringing it up – guess I just wanted to roll with the posts. Oh, and he thought he was a Scottish Vampire, too.
Witt can back me up.
Can Witt back you up because that stalker was/is Witt? And by jail you mean Los Angeles?
Well, Adam did follow my awesomeness around for awhile. But no – this dude was called “Ken Muckenfuhs”, rarely bathed, had sex with an underage girl on my bed (and made a mess after what I assume was a quick withdrawl), put on white face paint, waved a gun at people in a UDF, moved to New Orleans to find other vampires, all the while had his underage girlfriend stripping to make money for him…it gets better.