How Come Everyone Has A Stalker But Me?

keillor.jpg What am I doing wrong? Even Garrison has one? I was on Chicago Public Radio for almost three years and I got NOTHING. No fair! His super-fan sent him fun stuff like a petrified alligator foot, dead beetles and poems. And kudos to Garrison for dropping his restraining order. Taking out restraining orders sends the wrong message to would-be public radio fans! It was so obviously a misunderstanding. Would a “stalker” claim that “she and Keillor influenced each other’s creative processes”?? I seriously doubt it. I wish I could be creatively influenced by a stranger I’ve never met…