You say, “Pervert.” I say, “Beta tester.”

logo_01.pngSo here’s the deal. Personally, I think I won the lottery. This is going to gross out people like my mom, but she’s mostly filtering to see pictures of Miles anyway. So I’m reading my favorite gadget blog – Gizmodo, and one of their posts is a little article about a new company looking for beta testers. The product: An IPTV box. For those of you not in the know, IPTV is essentially a cable box for the internet. The benefit? You can use the internet to house all the video you want your service to deliver. Or something like that. It’s a way for other people to get into the living room without being Comcast. Anyways, the specific purpose of this IPTV box though is “porn”. Yes, “porn”. This company, Fyre, went out, and signed up all these Adult Entertainment Production companies and said, “We can get people to buy your stuff in 60 second blocks.” And the companies said, “Sure.” So here they are with a box that looks like another Comcast box, that sits in your living room/den/bedroom/secret room where the wife won’t find you – and when you turn it on… I’ll skip the poor wordplay on that one.

Seemed like an interesting device. If it works for porn, then there will be a box for each specific genre of film. Me? I’m looking forward to the Sci-Fi IPTV box. Any Sci-Fi movie, anytime I want? That’s a goldmine. Off of Gizmodo, I hit the site, and casually fill out the beta tester application. They were asking questions like, “What’s your favorite genre of porn?” Genre? There are “genres” of porn? I think I put “Normal.” or something like that. They also asked, “In 250 words or less, tell us why you would be a good beta tester for FyreTV.” I don’t remember everything I wrote, but I DO remember that I ended it with, “And my wife likes porn too.” True or not, not for everyone reading this to know – but I did know, as one that has to read through beta-tester applications, anytime you can get 2 for the price of 1 with a beta testing household – you’re in. A cheap ploy, but it worked nonetheless.

So a few days ago, I got the email accepting my application. I’m going to be one of the lucky few to beta test this new technology. It means I’m gonna have to fill out questionnaires, and write reviews, and, quite honestly, watch porn. You know, to test the system. It’s my new job, and one that I will love to show up for work for.