Cloverfiled.  Douche.Yeah. I’m sure you’ve heard of this movie by now. Don’t get me wrong, but I’m gonna go see it. But c’mon. The online/viral/web/spoiler world that has been built around this movie is sooooo intense, that the movie will fail. I blame J.J. Abrams. He’s too smart for his own good. He’s the kind of guy who takes the bit, and goes so deep down the rabbit hole with it, he brings all the geeks, nerds and sci-fi-fans – who get left there when he leaves to the next project.

I’m there. I know what SLUSHO! is, I know the name Targutao. I know that there’s a chick named Beth, and I really do believe that the guy yells out it’s a lion. There’s something about lice/crabs. Some monster makes little monsters. The army can’t beat it. And the dude is leaving for Japan. From the moment I saw the teaser trailer before Transformers – I’ve been tracking this. Heck, I setup a Google alerts to let me know when the next thing came out.

But here I am. 24 hours before it has officially opened, and I’m sick of the movie. I wanna see it, but the super-hype backfired. Calm down. Next time, finish your season of Lost. And way to “update” the whole “shaky handheld Blair Witch thing”. Because you’re right Hollywood. It’s been tooooo long since we had a “found footage” movie.

And you’re even MORE of a douche if it turns out to be everything you’ve hyped it up to be.

Hit the jump for a bigger shot of the Cloverfield monster.
Cloverfield Monster.  Douche.