Car Salesmen

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Yeah, it may be a tired, old stereotype – but you would think after decades of being likened to the slime of the earth, the equivalent of drug dealers strung out on their own product, macho egotistical car salesmen would have the decency to come back down to reality, and try to change their image.

Not so.

used_car_salesman.jpgYeah, it may be a tired, old stereotype – but you would think after decades of being likened to the slime of the earth, the equivalent of drug dealers strung out on their own product, macho egotistical car salesmen would have the decency to come back down to reality, and try to change their image.
Not so.
Sheila and I recently had a car breakdown that would cost more to fix than the car is worth. A lot more. It was kind of sad. I mean sure, the car was a junker most of the time. Had seen 3 accidents – which even my insurance company and the police reports say weren’t my fault – got terrible gas mileage and made a strange idling noise, but it was my car. Bought and paid for.
But it refused to go in reverse, and wanted to skip over 1st gear. So it had to go. So on comes the dreaded “shopping for a car”. Whenever I think about car shopping, I think about that episode of the Cosby Show where Theo and Dad go shopping for cars, and Dad gets all dressed up in ratty jeans, an old jacket and looks like crap – just so the guy would give them a lower price. But then Theo fucks it all up, and hilarity ensues.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Car salesman douche. So why do they always start with, “What’s can I do to earn your business?” Is there a more douchey way to start a convo when someone is looking to buy a car?

What proceeds is 4 hours of, “You can, you can’t” and other bartering tactics. One of them was 0% – but when you total up the payments, it was more than $1000 over the price of the car. Really? 0%? Douche. You think we can’t do math?! Don’t be slimey. When we called him out on it, he said, “Tax and title. That costs.” Shut up.

Best part was, Sheila walked out. Did not take the final offer which was where we had started with the negotiating. She just didn’t want to be bothered. If he was willing to go down that low, why didn’t he just agree with our opening offer? And what is the whole deal with “going to talk to the manager” – if I’m dealing with someone that needs to “go talk to the manager” – I don’t want to talk to you – you have no power. Don’t waste my fucking time. That’s all I ask.

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