Douche of the Day: Fervor Surrounding Iowa

story.iowa.caucuses.jpg

Lest we forget that it’s great to bring new jobs and attention to the great State of Iowa — and particularly my alma mater Drake in Des Moines, which benefits greatly from politicians stumping around campus — here we go again announcing national political trends based on an offhand comment from Douchey Douche at Local Diner. “I like Barack.” Headline: NATION LOVES BARACK. Come on. I wonder when the government will balance the budget by selling distribution rights of our archaic polling system to People Magazine. I was at the caucuses in 1996, and they’re cool, I love America, but I really just sat around and ate ham and listened to everyone talk about how much they liked Clinton, and I remember one guy screaming for more attention for Dick Lugar and people giggling to themselves as if to say “Yeah right, dude, Lugar sucks. Shut up and tick the Clinton box.” Use the caucuses to vet. Don’t pre-determine a good President by judging how they talk to a baggage clerk after 48 days of sleep deprivation.

story.iowa.caucuses.jpg

Lest we forget that it’s great to bring new jobs and attention to the great State of Iowa — and particularly my alma mater Drake in Des Moines, which benefits greatly from politicians stumping around campus — here we go again announcing national political trends based on an offhand comment from Douchey Douche at Local Diner. “I like Barack.” Headline: NATION LOVES BARACK. Come on. I wonder when the government will balance the budget by selling distribution rights of our archaic polling system to People Magazine. I was at the caucuses in 1996, and they’re cool, I love America, but I really just sat around and ate ham and listened to everyone talk about how much they liked Clinton, and I remember one guy screaming for more attention for Dick Lugar and people giggling to themselves as if to say “Yeah right, dude, Lugar sucks. Shut up and tick the Clinton box.” Use the caucuses to vet. Don’t pre-determine a good President by judging how they talk to a baggage clerk after 48 days of sleep deprivation.

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