Douche of the Day: Holiday Edition

Douche of the Day: Anyone who gets pissed off because of what we name a slowly dying tree in our living rooms. Every year there’s some report of some town we’ve never heard of that’s renamed their tree a “Holiday Tree”, God forbid other people should enjoy it too, or that the tree the pagans used to worship should mean anything other than Christ. It’s a tree, Christ never owned one, he was coincidentally born on the same day as the Pagan festival of Saturnalia, which celebrated the shortest days of the year and to celebrate it? The one tree that didn’t die in the fucking winter.

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Douche of the Day: Anyone who gets pissed off because of what we name a slowly dying tree in our living rooms. Every year there’s some report of some town we’ve never heard of that’s renamed their tree a “Holiday Tree”, God forbid other people should enjoy it too, or that the tree the pagans used to worship should mean anything other than Christ. It’s a tree, Christ never owned one, he was coincidentally born on the same day as the Pagan festival of Saturnalia, which celebrated the shortest days of the year and to celebrate it? The one tree that didn’t die in the fucking winter. You know who else is a douche? Anyone who thinks Christianity is this close to slipping into obscurity. How many friends does anyone who’s reading this have that’s not Christian? You know who buys the endangered-Christian myth? The same people that think America’s this close to being overrun by Islam. And can we possibly grasp the irony of becoming religious fanatics so that this country doesn’t fall to Middle East religious fanatics? You know what the proper name for people who think these things is? Idiots. I’m so tired of tolerating idiots. The Christmas tree is not Christian, the Giraffe with the shortest neck doesn’t eat, and the earth is not flat – the Mayans figured that out, but the chick on The View hasn’t. Oh, and the Yule log was initially an offering to Thor. So dress up like Thor this Christmas, to keep things “real.” Lest we forget the true meaning of the third week of December, now celebrating it’s 6 1/2 Billionth year. Having said all that, Merry Christmas, because that’s what I say. I don’t have to make a big thing about it, and neither should you, unless you’re a douche. Amen (a traditional name for Egyptian Pharaohs).

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