This One’s A Doozy
Now I’m gonna test you. You have all weekend – let’s see what can be said about:
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C’mon team, don’t let me down!
“Blood? or ‘Other’?”
On my way home for Thanksgiving I got to reunite with my old friend, Los Angeles Mass Transit. I had almost forgotten one of my favorite games – “Blood? or ‘Other’?” Could be jelly from a botched snacking opportunity, could be a Cherry Snow Cone gone awry, or…that could be blood. What do you think? Blood? or “Other?”
Have Some Fun with Ask.com
Go ahead… See what you can come up with… I love how smart search engines are getting. This is that new type of searching, where you should only have to type a few of the words that you’re looking for, and the computer is “smart” enough to anticipate what you’re asking….
Looks like this one goes back to the engineers.
Douche of the Day: “NO REGRETS!”
Over Thanksgiving break I overheard someone say they had “No regrets.” Everytime I hear someone say this I just want to immediatly ask “So what are they?” Nobody who actually doesn’t have regrets has to remind anybody else of their regretless lives. And who doesn’t have regrets? Assholes, that’s who. You’ve never screwed up? Can [...]
It Gets You Up… (If You Know What I Mean)
With the holidays right around the corner – it’s time to start thinking about the “Perfect Gift”. You know, the one that makes everyone go, “He went to Jared’s.” – Except we don’t go to Jared’s. And if I had any sway, I’d ask all of you to not go to Jared’s.
80’s Ballad Friday
Why not? This shit is funnier than Kids, Mr. Show, Kaufman and Wonder Showzen combined!
Now You’re Writing Like Members of the Writers Guild…
As promised, we are continuing – and this one seems appropriate – let ‘er rip!
Click for larger imageSo this is what happiness feels like.
Am I looking at a NEW picture of Indiana Jones for a NEW Indiana Jones movie? I’m speechless that this exists in my world. I credit The Secret, evidently it really works.
You Guys Are Awesome…
Ok, let’s do this thing again – I’m excited to see what you come up with for…. (insert drum roll here)
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Go get ‘em!
Andy Kaufman Wednesday
Remember when Andy was going back and forth with wrestler Jerry Lawler? Hilarious performance art here…
Speaking of Hulk Hogan
Ah, The Wrestling Album, produced, according to Fred, by Simon Cowell. I was so into Wrestling at this time. I got this album for Christmas and listened the shit out of it. Everything had to be so Rambo-Rocky IV-erific in the 80’s. It feels like the government now is run by people who didn’t know this was an act and actually thought/think geopolitics is this simple. Look for a giant cock coming at you at 1:55 and Hulk tearing up Kaddaffi’s picture shortly after. A year later it would be Noriega, then Clinton.
Kitchen Nightmares Wants You, Chicago!
So Cheap Shot Posse let me know of an awesome ad that was in the Reader this week — Kitchen Nightmares is looking for Chicago restaurants to send chef Gordon Ramsey to. You know the show where the British chef yells at everyone and the bleep a ton? By the end, he fixes the restaurant. So, they want you to call or some shit, but why don’t we just start a list of Chicago restaurants we think are super skanky Chef Ramsey worthy and we’ll alert the producers. Cool?
I’ll start – the Golden Nugget on Lawrence and Ravenswood. Show your work.
Douche(s) of the Day: Advertisers Who Think We Want To See MORE Rachel Ray
Okay, we get it. Rachel Ray is America’s sweetheart! Wait? Who decided that? And enough with her face everywhere. On my beloved Dunkin Donuts cup? On my EVite? On my grocery commercials? Enough. It’s starting to backfire, advertisers. It would take a lot for me to give up my DD coffee, but they are getting dangerously close… Her 9 cooking shows, her talk show and her 7 magazines are enough. Don’t add her to my Swiffer, Tampax and Nicorette ads as well.
Good Morning.
Good thing expensive gas due to oil companies and Middle East intervention is over. In retrospect The Gremlin is kind of cool
The Writer’s Strike Continues, So Does This Bit…
On to Round 2. And oh – as long as there’s a Writer’s Strike – we’re gonna keep doing this –
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Douche of the Day: The Redbird!
I know this is a bit late, but Cardinal George was named President of the Conference of Catholic Bishops? This is the best the Bishops could do? Now I know it is in bad taste to question a cancer survivor and a man of God, but George hasn’t really been the progressive Cardinal, with his latest soundbyte, when referring to a lawsuit brought on by a victim of a priest, that it was “all about the money”. Um, what was it all about for the priest who fondled the victim? This is your president? A guy who discounts the abuse as a money-grab? Hey, if I were groped by my priest when I was 12, I think I would demand some sort of payback. Since you don’t fire them or they don’t go to jail, then cash is third on the list. If they don’t get cash, then what do they get Mr. President? Avoided? Marginalized? Ignored? Abused Again? I know there is a chance I might face hell, but you sir mr. prez cardinal of the world, are a douche.
Might Be Worth Something Someday!
So there is a rumor going around that someone is stealing Steve Dolinsky’s headshots from restaurants and bars across Chicago. It seems that almost every place you walk into has a Dolinsky headshot and some wise-cracker is stealing them. 10 bucks says it’s James Ward.
Wonder Showzen Tuesday
We have Kids in the Hall Monday, so why not go with Wonder Showzen Tuesday? This show ran for 2 seasons on MTV 2. It was sort of a fake kids’ show. Here’s one of my favorite “Beat Kids” segments..