Happy Halloween
Drink everytime you see someone dressed as Napoleon Dynamite.
Halloween Filler
Of course, when it comes to horror movie music, no Harry Manfredini or whatever band Crispin Glover was dancing to, can hold a candle to Dokken from Nightmare on Elm Street 3.
Halloween Filler
Of course Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter was the best. The Jason was the best, the action was the best, it was named “The Final Chapter”, that ridiculous Jason death at the end where Corey Feldman (Corey Feldman!) puts a machete in Jason’s head and then Jason falls on it and slides down it! Hell Jason even kills Powers of Matthew Star. But best of all, Crispin Glover’s in it. I mean, can you really beat Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter?
Computer doesn’t lie Schadenfreude.net Reader
A still from Friday The 13th Part 4
Douche of the Day:
Movies and shows that advertise “A twist you won’t want to miss.” We all remember how The Crying Game created huge word of mouth. People saying You Gotta See It, But I Can’t Tell You Why. Cool. An early form of viral marketing. But is anything Douchier than knowing there’s a twist ending you won’t want to miss? If I know that there’s gonna be a twist, it no longer holds weight — and I’m now watching and am expecting the twist and am wondering when it’ll arrive. Case in point: ask yourself when you figured out the twist in The Village, and if you were honestly watching without any forethought regarding when the twist would arrive. Maybe the industry should start advertising “A surprise case of mistaken identity you won’t want to miss,” or “A sub-plot cliffhanger that will rock your world,” or “A split-screen telephone sequence that will make you wish there were more split-screen telephone sequences.” If you’re gonna call it out, at least be consistent.
Halloween Filler
Oh I love this time of year. I actually had a couple hours off last night and got to turn on AMC’s Monsterfest, which is not as good as it’s been in previous years, they’re showing Scream 3 like 12 times. Enough with the Scream 3. Last night they showed Friday The 13th parts 3 and 7, odd pairing. All of the Friday films are genius, I was a little too into them as a kid.
Death has come to your little town, Schadenfreude.net Reader
this description doesn’t do the photo justice
Rob Reiner
Is Rob Reiner’s star in front of:
A) A cash exchange?
B) A vacant lot?
C) A Head shop?
D) A cell phone store?
Douche of the Day: Ron Huberman
This CTA extortion has to stop. So every 2 months the CTA cries that they don’t have enough money. Springfield bails them out and they set another date so they can do it all over again. I got an idea – how bout selling El placards and ads to real businesses and not “Magic Johnson has HIV” not-for-profits? “The Jewish singles organization” probably isn’t paying top dollar. Neither is the “don’t let your face get all gross. Get a Hep shot.” campaign. And who is this Ron Huberman? He is a former mayoral chief-of-staff who is going to grandstand in front of the cameras with that smug arrogance letting us know through his eyes that he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. You sir, are a certified city services DOUCHE! If you cut my route and charge me 3 bucks to take the train – I’m eating chicken all the time on the brown line. During rush hour. Do you really want that Huberman?
Good Morning.
This description doesn’t do the photo justice
Late-Night Filler
Friday The 13th, the video game
Shooting Up the Charts…Buy Mii a Wii
Seriously – you would think that this is second coming of M.C. Escher the way the tech blogs are reporting this.
It’s a little annoying at first, but soon you too will be singing, “Nintend- Oh Oh Oh”.
Ahhh, Things are Back to Normal?
Not only is the Dan Ryan back to being an expressway, but the Bears are back to being mediocre. You know, I just think that’s the way it is. You realize that 2 of the Bears 3 wins came on last minute heroics after the Bears laid huge eggs throughout the game? Packers? Eagles? Is this what you want from your football team? A shitty, poorly played game with a bail-out at the end? Wait, are the Bears embodying Chicago? Are we a shitty city with terrible budget plans and leadership and Casinos are bailing us out at the end? Are we a crappy city that is going to bungle the Olympic bid (see Marathon) until right at the last minute the other city will do something worse? I ask you (in my best Carrie Bradshaw voice), is Chicago a city that works despite itself? Man, all this from a home loss against the Lions. The Detroit Lions.
Hmmmm, that’s weird.
The Dan Ryan Is My New Lover
I took the newly constructed Dan Ryan expressway to Indiana yesterday and it is suuuwwwweeeeeeeeet! 4 nice lanes, figured out the cluster-fuck that was the Skyway entrance. As Uncle Eddy would say “Real nice, Clark…real nice”. I hate when construction projects finish. Every time a construction project finishes, I am reminded of the doomsday media coverage from when it began and realize that the years are flying by. Remember when they started that project and said it would take 4 years or something? It’s been 4 years. Construction projects are a great way to measure your life.
Douche of the Day: Southwest Airlines Flight Attendants
Monday’s nomination: The Flight Attendants on Southwest Airlines. This is an oldie but goodie for me — it’s an opinion I’ve had for quite some time, but yesterday I was reminded as I took a Southwest flight. Enough with the bits guys! Sure, I want you to be informative and helpful, but the “we’re-all-in-this-together-so-why-don’t-we-all-just-have-a-laugh” attitude has got to go. Don’t make jokes about airline safety while we are hurling through the air in a several ton piece of metal possilbly being targeting by Islamic extremists — I’m not in the mood. I suspect that this attitude must be part of the business model as almost every Southwest flight I’ve taken has a not-so-tight 5 minute routine over the intercom. And if you absolutely have to be witty, at least hire a patter writer to something. I’m sure Bruce Vallanch is available.
Good Morning.
Mr. Ike Barinholtz
Cops look at you to see how to act. It matters, Schadenfreude.net Reader. It matters.
Not a picture of Miles
Douche of the Day: People with no “sense” of humor
I was thinking about the phrase “sense” of humor. We usually think of people with “no sense of humor” as being people who don’t find anything humorous. However, there are people who find all kinds of things funny, but have no “sense” of humor. Like the people who say “I’m joking” .05 seconds after they say something that was, clearly, a joke. Or winkers. You ever encounter someone who winks at you when they joke?