Douche of the Day: This Guy.

This_guy.jpg

So I’m back to taking the “L” everyday to work. Dump the car, walk a 1/2 mile everyday to/from the “L” stop – it’s good. Hell, I paid good money for my iPhone – I might as well listen to the music while talking on the phone, TXTing my BFF SM, browsing the web to find a calamari restaurant watching a movie about Pirates and testing my blood sugar levels. And I can do ALL of that while walking to the train.

This_guy.jpg

So I’m back to taking the “L” everyday to work. Dump the car, walk a 1/2 mile everyday to/from the “L” stop – it’s good. Hell, I paid good money for my iPhone – I might as well listen to the music while talking on the phone, TXTing my BFF SM, browsing the web to find a calamari restaurant watching a movie about Pirates and testing my blood sugar levels. And I can do ALL of that while walking to the train.

So that gets me to the train, and I used to think it was awesome people-watching during rush hour, but that’s nothing compared to the morning train commute… And that’s where I met this guy. I’m just gonna call him “this guy” – he has the most awkward smile, and kept on picking the space between his front two teeth. Look at him – DOUCHE! I mean really. I don’t need to watch you picking your teeth sir. And making that grimace, like what you’re picking is hurting you. And don’t try to fool me with the crossword puzzle on your lap. I know you’re just thinking that you shouldn’t have had that poppyseed muffin while your wife drove you to the Pulaski station on the Blue Line. You’ve now got these seeds sitting there, in-between your monstrous front teeth, and you’ve got a presentation first thing, and you know you’ve got horse teeth, the last thing you want to do is draw attention to them by having a couple nice black poppyseeds sticking out there like neon signs. So you might as well pick.

And pick you do.

Like a douche.

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