Douche of the Day: The Staff at Victoria’s Secret

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If the U.S. government used the covert communication skills that the Victoria’s Secret workers used on a regular Saturday afternoon, we’d have Bin Laden and Larry Craig behind bars. Seriously, Victoria’s Secret — CALM DOWN, it’s underwear!! The workers all wear those headseats so that they can track you as you move through the store. If you tell one worker that you are there for bras, they radio back to the bra section and to say that you are on the way. They actually describe what you are wearing and say things like, “Jeans and brown T-shirt! She’s looking for new bras, she doesn’t have an Angel Card… Let’s get her ladies!!” (This was confirmed by a friend of mine who worked there.) On Saturday, I made the mistake of telling the first worker who asked that I didn’t have an “Angel Card” and that I didn’t want one. This resulted in every other worker I encountered telling me why it would be the best idea to open one TODAY! I gave the “panties girl” my tried and true shut down, “No thanks, I get airline miles on my card (smile politely).” To which she replied, “Well if you get a card you can save TONS on V.S. merchandise throughout the year. You’ll still be able to get your airline miles when you shop other places!” Yeah, no shit. I still don’t want one. When I checked out, I was relieved when the woman at the counter didn’t try to close the deal, she just let me swipe my debit card. Immediately she received an urgent message in her ear piece (and most likely a small electric shock). She paused and said, “No not yet, but I will right now.” She then sighed, looked at me and said, “Would you like to save money by opening up an Angel Card today?” I replied, “Well since I’ve already used my debit card and the receipt is printed… No.” I could tell she hated that Big Sister was watching her and that “they” had caught her failing to close the deal. Hey, Victoria’s Secret: It’s NOT good customer service. It’s creepy and highly annoying. Let me shop for my undies in peace.

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