BREAKING: Lighters OK on planes again!

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SCOOPSVILLE!


Starting in August, disposable lighters and Zippos will be allowed through security and on airplanes once again. According to the TSA, explosives still remain the most significant threat to aviation — followed closely by breast milk and Airport Douchebags. Nevertheless, the TSA is also softening its hold on breast milk by dropping the requirment to carry breast milk AND an infant through the metal detector at the same time. Airport Douchebags, though, have been issued general instructions to avoid saying “Man, can you believe security today?” or “Sheesh, you’d think they’d move the line along” and “You know they pad the arrival times, right? That’s what they do. I read about it in Bottom Line.” Even though the TSA hasn’t inked a Federal code mandating proper behavior, Airport Douchebags were recently asked to “Not be such huge douches all the time.”

PA250018WG252_250.jpg

SCOOPSVILLE!


Starting in August, disposable lighters and Zippos will be allowed through security and on airplanes once again. According to the TSA, explosives still remain the most significant threat to aviation — followed closely by breast milk and Airport Douchebags. Nevertheless, the TSA is also softening its hold on breast milk by dropping the requirment to carry breast milk AND an infant through the metal detector at the same time. Airport Douchebags, though, have been issued general instructions to avoid saying “Man, can you believe security today?” or “Sheesh, you’d think they’d move the line along” and “You know they pad the arrival times, right? That’s what they do. I read about it in Bottom Line.” Even though the TSA hasn’t inked a Federal code mandating proper behavior, Airport Douchebags were recently asked to “Not be such huge douches all the time.”

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