What? No Gnomes?

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What’s more fun than watching Die Hard With A Vengeance again? Watching Live Free Or Die Hard, that’s what. Over the Fourth break I got to see LForDH and loved the shit out of it. Not only is this summer full of very satisfying pop, it’s full of movies I’d see twice, can’t wait to see Transformers again so I can figure out what pissed Matt Larsen off so much, but I also can’t wait to see Die Hard 4 again. What’s great about Die Hard 4? I realized two seconds in (shit starts blowing up real fast). The type of movie which used to cram the summer slots had dissappeared below a pile of gnomes, goblins, magical lions, and superheroes. I didn’t even realize that in the post-Lord of the Rings world all movies are fantasy. The kickass summer action movie died somewhere in between me wishing it would and Speed 2. Did anyone else notice that? I didn’t. As John McClane started kicking all manner of ass I had what alcoholics call a moment of clarity, because John McClane firing guns while jumping off skyscrapers felt…unfamiliar? Yeah, I know, weird. In the summer of mystical pirates and magical scorcerors and superpowered teens and adults, the most beat-to-death format copied 1,000 times through the 80’s an 90’s feels fresh? Of course it has gone from “Die Hard in a building” to “Die Hard in an airport” to “Die Hard in a City” to “Die Hard in a country.” Bonus points to anyone who can guess the name of the Van Damme “Die Hard in a Hockey Rink,” here’s a hint, it has the best name you could give a “Die Hard in a…” ten years into the format.

-die295626.jpg

What’s more fun than watching Die Hard With A Vengeance again? Watching Live Free Or Die Hard, that’s what. Over the Fourth break I got to see LForDH and loved the shit out of it. Not only is this summer full of very satisfying pop, it’s full of movies I’d see twice, can’t wait to see Transformers again so I can figure out what pissed Matt Larsen off so much, but I also can’t wait to see Die Hard 4 again. What’s great about Die Hard 4? I realized two seconds in (shit starts blowing up real fast). The type of movie which used to cram the summer slots had dissappeared below a pile of gnomes, goblins, magical lions, and superheroes. I didn’t even realize that in the post-Lord of the Rings world all movies are fantasy. The kickass summer action movie died somewhere in between me wishing it would and Speed 2. Did anyone else notice that? I didn’t. As John McClane started kicking all manner of ass I had what alcoholics call a moment of clarity, because John McClane firing guns while jumping off skyscrapers felt…unfamiliar? Yeah, I know, weird. In the summer of mystical pirates and magical scorcerors and superpowered teens and adults, the most beat-to-death format copied 1,000 times through the 80’s an 90’s feels fresh? Of course it has gone from “Die Hard in a building” to “Die Hard in an airport” to “Die Hard in a City” to “Die Hard in a country.” Bonus points to anyone who can guess the name of the Van Damme “Die Hard in a Hockey Rink,” here’s a hint, it has the best name you could give a “Die Hard in a…” ten years into the format.

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