Hipster Doofus! Get Up!

commie.jpg

I eat at Santullos in Wicker Park a lot. Slice of pizza for about 3 bucks. Julie and I were in the neighborhood this past weekend and we stopped in. Every table was occupied in the pizza joint. So me and my 8 month pregnant wife stood. I don’t mind. Neither does Julie. We weren’t annointed by God to have a baby, so no one should have to get up. But when there are 3 tables occupied by assface 22 year old Hipster Doofus’s already done with their pizza and just reading their “Atlas Shrugged”, that’s when I get miffed. 3 of em! All looked straight at Julie and gave the defiant “I’m finishin my book, sitting at MY table..breeder.” So note to Santullos hipster doofus: I’m gonna teach you some manners. And then I’m going to kick your face in and make you wash your clothes. And shave your Lenin mustache. Welcome to Chicago.

commie.jpg

I eat at Santullos in Wicker Park a lot. Slice of pizza for about 3 bucks. Julie and I were in the neighborhood this past weekend and we stopped in. Every table was occupied in the pizza joint. So me and my 8 month pregnant wife stood. I don’t mind. Neither does Julie. We weren’t annointed by God to have a baby, so no one should have to get up. But when there are 3 tables occupied by assface 22 year old Hipster Doofus’s already done with their pizza and just reading their “Atlas Shrugged”, that’s when I get miffed. 3 of em! All looked straight at Julie and gave the defiant “I’m finishin my book, sitting at MY table..breeder.” So note to Santullos hipster doofus: I’m gonna teach you some manners. And then I’m going to kick your face in and make you wash your clothes. And shave your Lenin mustache. Welcome to Chicago.

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