Stupid things you can’t do after 9/11

fart-machine-keychain.jpg

I just heard the word “Caliphate” used on Daily Show or Bill Maher or something in describing Bin Laden’s plans. He wanted to create a global “Caliphate.” So I enter this into Wikipedia, and up comes the definition. Then as I’m reading about the Islamic form of government based on succession to Muhammad that started this War on Terror I realize there’s no way this isn’t considered suspicious behavior. I imagine the internet protocol numbers and my address number popping up in a basement in Washington, reflecting off the glasses of some morally-malleable graduate of Regent University.

So what do I do to throw the dogs off the track? I immediately type “fart” into my search engine, which takes me, not surprisingly, to Fart.com. Where I proceed to spend twice as much time. I wonder how that information is processed in Washington? I don’t know, all I know is reading the Wikipedia description of “Caliphate” while listening to this series of farts as background is really really really funny, and probably superconfusing to the fine people at Total Information Awareness.

fart-machine-keychain.jpg

I just heard the word “Caliphate” used on Daily Show or Bill Maher or something in describing Bin Laden’s plans. He wanted to create a global “Caliphate.” So I enter this into Wikipedia, and up comes the definition. Then as I’m reading about the Islamic form of government based on succession to Muhammad that started this War on Terror I realize there’s no way this isn’t considered suspicious behavior. I imagine the internet protocol numbers and my address number popping up in a basement in Washington, reflecting off the glasses of some morally-malleable graduate of Regent University.

So what do I do to throw the dogs off the track? I immediately type “fart” into my search engine, which takes me, not surprisingly, to Fart.com. Where I proceed to spend twice as much time. I wonder how that information is processed in Washington? I don’t know, all I know is reading the Wikipedia description of “Caliphate” while listening to this series of farts as background is really really really funny, and probably superconfusing to the fine people at Total Information Awareness.

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