SCOOPSVILLE! Alternate Ending for 24!!

JackBauer.jpg

Now that Season 6 of 24 has come to its annual riveting conclusion, I’ve come across a script for an ALTERNATE ENDING in this BREAKING Schadenfreude.net exclusive! Take that, Drudge!


“24” Alternate Ending, Internal Use Only
(c) 20th Century Douche



BILL BUCHANAN dials JACK BAUER.


BILL

Jack, it’s Bill.


JACK

Bill, what’s your status?


BILL

Jack, I know you’re off the grid again, but I’m here with Curtis and Tony who are no longer dead. Chase is here, your daughter Kim Bauer ran away, and Danny Palmer, David Palmer’s long lost twin, is with us too. Aaron the Secret Service guy is on his way and Doyle’s in medical getting new eyes. We’re all gonna stage our deaths and take down the underbelly of world crime. Tom Lennox is running CTU with Chloe at comm. Oh, plus Fayed was rescued and brought back to life and is a good guy now. How about it, Jack?


JACK

I’m on my way.


CUT TO: Countdown clock doing the usual BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP thing, counting to 06:00.


Roll credits.

JackBauer.jpg

Now that Season 6 of 24 has come to its annual riveting conclusion, I’ve come across a script for an ALTERNATE ENDING in this BREAKING Schadenfreude.net exclusive! Take that, Drudge!


“24” Alternate Ending, Internal Use Only
(c) 20th Century Douche



BILL BUCHANAN dials JACK BAUER.


BILL

Jack, it’s Bill.


JACK

Bill, what’s your status?


BILL

Jack, I know you’re off the grid again, but I’m here with Curtis and Tony who are no longer dead. Chase is here, your daughter Kim Bauer ran away, and Danny Palmer, David Palmer’s long lost twin, is with us too. Aaron the Secret Service guy is on his way and Doyle’s in medical getting new eyes. We’re all gonna stage our deaths and take down the underbelly of world crime. Tom Lennox is running CTU with Chloe at comm. Oh, plus Fayed was rescued and brought back to life and is a good guy now. How about it, Jack?


JACK

I’m on my way.


CUT TO: Countdown clock doing the usual BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP thing, counting to 06:00.


Roll credits.

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