What if a 12 Year Old IMer Said/Wrote That?

jackson_jesse_IM.JPG

Even I, the most technically advanced of the Schad crew, still don’t fully understand “abbreviated IM writing”. I mostly understand it… But I think the best way to understand it, is to immerse myself in it. And all of you.

Yesterday, Jesse Jackson release a statement regarding MSNBC/Imus/Racism/Oil Prices/Othe Issue Where He Can Get On Camera – and it was extremely intelligent, rational and eloquent. Well done Mr. Jackson. If you would like to read it, click here.

But what if Jesse didn’t write it? What if it was a 12 year old IMer? It would sound a little something like this:

DO3S MSNBC PEDL3 BIGOTRY FOR PROFIT?!!??!!!? OMG ITS HARD 2 IMAGIEN ANY OTHER R3ASON FOR KEPNG DON IMUS AND HIS IMUS IN TEH MORNNG ON DA ARE!!11!111 OMG WTF LOL IMUS HAS GOD RATNGS AT LAAST COMPAERD WIT MSNBC GEN3RALY SO TEH NETWORK SIMULCASTS HIS RADIO SHOW!1111 OMG
ON APRIL 4 IMUS FU SHOW 2K UP DA WOMANS BASKATBAL CHMPIONSHIP GME WHICH FAATURED AN UND3RDOG RUTGERS TEM AGANEST FAVOR3D T3NESE!!!!1!1! OMG LOL DA RUTGERS T3M – COMPRISNG AIGHT AFRICAN-MERICAN WOMEN AND TWO WHIETS – WHICH MAED IT 2 DA FINALS BY PLAYNG SUFOCATNG T3M DEFENS3 IN TEH 3ND SUCUMBD 2 TEH TAELNT3D TENASE SQUAD!!!1!!

The rest of his statement after the jump…

jackson_jesse_IM.JPG

Even I, the most technically advanced of the Schad crew, still don’t fully understand “abbreviated IM writing”. I mostly understand it… But I think the best way to understand it, is to immerse myself in it. And all of you.

Yesterday, Jesse Jackson release a statement regarding MSNBC/Imus/Racism/Oil Prices/Othe Issue Where He Can Get On Camera – and it was extremely intelligent, rational and eloquent. Well done Mr. Jackson. If you would like to read it, click here.

But what if Jesse didn’t write it? What if it was a 12 year old IMer? It would sound a little something like this:

DO3S MSNBC PEDL3 BIGOTRY FOR PROFIT?!!??!!!? OMG ITS HARD 2 IMAGIEN ANY OTHER R3ASON FOR KEPNG DON IMUS AND HIS IMUS IN TEH MORNNG ON DA ARE!!11!111 OMG WTF LOL IMUS HAS GOD RATNGS AT LAAST COMPAERD WIT MSNBC GEN3RALY SO TEH NETWORK SIMULCASTS HIS RADIO SHOW!1111 OMG
ON APRIL 4 IMUS FU SHOW 2K UP DA WOMANS BASKATBAL CHMPIONSHIP GME WHICH FAATURED AN UND3RDOG RUTGERS TEM AGANEST FAVOR3D T3NESE!!!!1!1! OMG LOL DA RUTGERS T3M – COMPRISNG AIGHT AFRICAN-MERICAN WOMEN AND TWO WHIETS – WHICH MAED IT 2 DA FINALS BY PLAYNG SUFOCATNG T3M DEFENS3 IN TEH 3ND SUCUMBD 2 TEH TAELNT3D TENASE SQUAD!!!1!!

The rest of his statement after the jump…


Even I, the most technically advanced of the Schad crew, still don’t fully understand “abbreviated IM writing”. I mostly understand it… But I think the best way to understand it, is to immerse myself in it. And all of you.

Yesterday, Jesse Jackson release a statement regarding MSNBC/Imus/Racism/Oil Prices/Othe Issue Where He Can Get On Camera – and it was extremely intelligent, rational and eloquent. Well done Mr. Jackson. If you would like to read it, click here.

But what if Jesse didn’t write it? What if it was a 12 year old IMer? It would sound a little something like this:

DO3S MSNBC PEDL3 BIGOTRY FOR PROFIT?!!??!!!? OMG ITS HARD 2 IMAGIEN ANY OTHER R3ASON FOR KEPNG DON IMUS AND HIS IMUS IN TEH MORNNG ON DA ARE!!11!111 OMG WTF LOL IMUS HAS GOD RATNGS AT LAAST COMPAERD WIT MSNBC GEN3RALY SO TEH NETWORK SIMULCASTS HIS RADIO SHOW!1111 OMG

ON APRIL 4 IMUS FU SHOW 2K UP DA WOMANS BASKATBAL CHMPIONSHIP GME WHICH FAATURED AN UND3RDOG RUTGERS TEM AGANEST FAVOR3D T3NESE!!!!1!1! OMG LOL DA RUTGERS T3M – COMPRISNG AIGHT AFRICAN-MERICAN WOMEN AND TWO WHIETS – WHICH MAED IT 2 DA FINALS BY PLAYNG SUFOCATNG T3M DEFENS3 IN TEH 3ND SUCUMBD 2 TEH TAELNT3D TENASE SQUAD!!!1!!

IMUS OPENED TEH BIT BY SAYNG TAHT H3 HAD WATCH3D TEH GM3!!!!! LOL HIS SIEDKIK SID ROSENBRG ANOUNCAD DA SCOR3!11111!! LOL WH3R3UPON IMUS 2K DA CONVARSATION IN2 TEH MUD TAHTS SOMA ROUGH GIRLS FROM RUTGARS!11!!11!! WTF MAN THAY GOT TATOS SADE IMUS!!11! OMG WTF LOL HIS 3X3CUTIEV PRODUCAR BRNARD MCGUIRK INTERUPTAD SOMA HARD-COR3 HOS!!1!!111! OMG IMUS AD3D INSULT TAHTS SOM3 NAPY-HEAEDD HOS THERA

MCGUIRK!11111 OMG THEN COMPAERD TEH RUTGARS TAM 2 TEN3SE SUG3STNG IT WAS A SPIEK LE THNG!111111 OMG WTF LOL THA JIGABOS VS!11111 WTF TEH WANAEBS – TAHT MOVEI TAHT HE HAD!11!1 WTF (IN SPIEK LES MOVEI SKOOL DAEZ THEIR WAS A RIVALRY BTWEN TEH DARK-SKINAD JIGABOS AND DA LIGHT-SKIN3D WANAEBS)

THIS!1111! SI VIEL BIGOTRY!!11!!1!1 OMG IMUS DOESNT KNOW TH3S3 U WOMEN!!!!1!1 OMG HES RACIALY TAUNTNG U WOMEN WHO HAEV WORK3D TIERLASLEY 2 SUCED AT DA HIGHEST LEV3LS OF COLEGA SPORT!1!1!11 OMG WTF LOL

JUST HUMOR IMUS SADE INITIALY R3FUSNG 2 APOLOGIEZ JUST SOM3 IDIOT COM3NT M3ANT 2 B MUSNG!!!111 OMG LOL AFTER TWO DAYS OF FUROR IMUS APOLOGIEZD FOR AN INS3NSITIEV AND IL-CONCEIEVD REMARK!!11!!!! WTF BUT ITS NOT AN ISOLAETD INSTANCE!11!!!!! ONLEY A MONTH 3ARLEIR WHEN SAN!!!1!1! WTF HILARY CLIN2N GAEV A SPECH IN S3LMA ALA!!1!!11 ON TEH ANIEVRSARY OF TEH 1965 MARCH TAHT PRODUCED BLODY SUNDAY MCGUIRK SADE SHE WAS TRYNG 2 SOUND BLAK IN FRONT OF A BLAK AUDEINCE SUG3STNG SHEL HAEV CORNROWS AND GOLD TETH BFOR3 THES FIGHT WIT OBMA SI OVER!!1111 OMG LOL

IMUS ONCE SCORNED PBS ANCHOR GW3N IFIL ON3 OF TEH F3W AFRICAN-M3RICAN ANCHORS ON T3LAVISION AS A CLEANNG LADY!1!!!1 OMG MCGUIRK DISMIS3D SAN!1!1!!1 WTF BARAK OBMA AS TAHT U COLORED FELA!11!!11

FORMAR NU YORK M3DIA CRITIC PHILIP NOBIEL HAS DOCUM3NTAD IMUS R3PEAT RACIST OFENSAS!!!!!!! HE REPORTS TAHT IMUS ADMITED 2 60 MINUT3S TAHT MCGUIRK WAS BROUGHT ON 2 DO NIG3R JOK3S!1!!1 OMG LOL IMUS OR HIS COORTS HAEV CALED PATRIK EWNG TH3 MISNG LINK SHAQUILA ONEAL A CARJAKAR IN SHORTS TEH NU YORK KNIX CHEST-BUMPNG PIMPS TEH WILIMS SISTARS TWO BOMA-CHUKA BIG-BUT3D WOMAN AND TEH INDIAN MENS DOUBLES TEM GUNGA DIN AND SMBO

THE!1!!11!1 OMG LIST CAN GO ON!!!!111 LOL IMUS SI PROTACT3D BY HIS CACH3 OF INSIEDRS IN WASHNG2N!!!11!! OMG LOL

ON MSNBC OF COURSE AFRICAN-MERICAN ANCHORS CAN RASPOND 2 IMUS AND REPLEY 2 HIS RACIST JIEBS GIVNG AS W3L AS THAY G3T!!!111! LOL NOT!1!1! WTF LOL IN FACT THEYRE R NO – ZERO – AFRICAN-MERICAN HOSTS ON MSNBC!!!!!!1!! LOL TEH NATWORK PRACTIECS TEH DISCRIMINATION TAHT IMUS PADLAS!1!!1 WTF

IT SI A STARK STAETM3NT OF OUR TIEMS TAHT A NATIONAL NETWORK ARES THES TRASH!!1!1!! MSNBC CL3ARLEY HAS NO SENSE OF COMON D3CENCY!!1!1 WE SHUD RECOGNIEZ THAM FOR WT AER!!1!1 WTF THEIR SI NO R3ASON FOR ANY AFRICAN M3RICAN OR ANY PERSON OF CONSCEINC3 2 LIST3N 2 MSNBC!!!!!11!! THEIR SI NO RAASON 2 PURCHAES ANY GODS FROM ANY ADVERTIESR TAHT SPONSORS OR APEARS ALONGSIED TEH IMUS SHOW!1!1!! OMG WTF LOL WE CAN AT LAAST TAEK TEH PROFIT OUT OF P3DLNG GARBAEG!!!1!111 OMG WTF LOL

It would totally sway the youth vote.

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