Now This is Straight Up Media Analysis.

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So I got an e-mail last night from Ken, who painstakingly transcribed the ABC 7 newscast. Why? Because that’s what losers like us do. It’s astounding to read this. I would make a ton of jokes, but really, the newscast does it for me (and Ken adds great commentary!) The best part is that ABC goes with the Coyote story 11th out of 16 stories. CBS? probably 9th. NBC – LEAD STORY. Why? Cause Amy Jacobsen likes dogs? WTF? Anyway, here we go – last night’s crappy newscast from ABC 7 – after the jump.

piechart.jpg

So I got an e-mail last night from Ken, who painstakingly transcribed the ABC 7 newscast. Why? Because that’s what losers like us do. It’s astounding to read this. I would make a ton of jokes, but really, the newscast does it for me (and Ken adds great commentary!) The best part is that ABC goes with the Coyote story 11th out of 16 stories. CBS? probably 9th. NBC – LEAD STORY. Why? Cause Amy Jacobsen likes dogs? WTF? Anyway, here we go – last night’s crappy newscast from ABC 7 – after the jump.


Here we go – Media Analysis time!!!!! (again, from Ken J.!)

1. Tommy Thompson – “the reliable conservative” announces a Presidential bid. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
2. Dang, it’s cold outside
3. Dang, it’s cold in michigan, Georgia, and Texas too. And Jerry knows how to use a computer when he is not flying
4. Cops beat the shit out of people. They do it when they are off duty too
5. Woman killed on south side
6. Firefighter hero get an award
7. British soldiers freed, avoiding nuclear conflict and soaring oil prices (really – number 7)
8. Kids today are fat
9. People are killing each other with guns in chicago
10. In depth analysis of teenagers who got drunk and piled in a car and killed themselves. 3 weeks ago
11. Coyote transfered from Quiznos to Barrington
12. Jerry confirms it. Dang, it’s cold. And it will stay that way until Monday
13. Kurt Hinrich is the man
13. Both baseball teams suck. And dang, it’s cold.
14. They still play hockey in Chicago.
15. It’s a hole in one! By a no name
16. REO Speedwagon. I shit you not. REO Speedwagon plays a Wal Mart in suburban Elk Grove Village.

So did they just give everyone the day off? It is Spring Break time after all. I think I could have assembled this from reading newspapers, recycling stuff, and reading press releases.

And Nightline. Ted Koppel must be quaffing scotch at an extreme rate now
1. Asperger’s syndrome
2. Bagdhad ain’t so bad
3. Keith Richards snorts his Dad. Or did he. After reading the John Belushi biography, I am convinced he cannot be sure.

No interviews with any politicos.

Ken

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