Finally! International Intrigue With My Fruit!

capt.ae1c7273664345aaa6eff020e3134d23.terrorism_bananas_nybz128.jpg

Now I know why my bananas are getting so frickn’ expensive — not because they are becoming extinct — but because they are tied to terrorists! Call me crazy, but this is just the sort of naughty intrigue I crave while in the produce section at Jewel. Now, Chaquita not only has a sexy name, but also the mystery and danger that SHOULD accompany a perishable item. I applaud Chaquita for thinking outside the box and getting the job done. You think all fruit companies have the moxy to pay off an international terrorist ring to get me my bananas? No way. Dole would have cried like a girl. A lonely, lost little girl.

capt.ae1c7273664345aaa6eff020e3134d23.terrorism_bananas_nybz128.jpg

Now I know why my bananas are getting so frickn’ expensive — not because they are becoming extinct — but because they are tied to terrorists! Call me crazy, but this is just the sort of naughty intrigue I crave while in the produce section at Jewel. Now, Chaquita not only has a sexy name, but also the mystery and danger that SHOULD accompany a perishable item. I applaud Chaquita for thinking outside the box and getting the job done. You think all fruit companies have the moxy to pay off an international terrorist ring to get me my bananas? No way. Dole would have cried like a girl. A lonely, lost little girl.

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