Tuesday 24 Wrap Up – 6 PM – 7 PM

So Rick Schroeder, eh? Never watched NYPD Blue – but I did watch Silver Spoons. And no matter how many throats he grabs and how pissy he gets and how many scars are painted onto his face to make him look like a bad ass, I am still always gonna see him skulking off into his race car bed each night….. And yes, I AM still pissed I never had a race car bed.

Cynic Stephe is back. Let’s pick 24 apart this week. After the jump, YOU get the chance to contact President Suberov’s wife….

So Ricky Schroeder, eh? Never watched NYPD Blue – but I did watch Silver Spoons. And no matter how many throats he grabs and how pissy he gets and how many scars are painted onto his face to make him look like a bad ass, I am still always gonna see him skulking off into his race car bed each night….. And yes, I AM still pissed I never had a race car bed.

Cynic Stephe is back. Let’s pick 24 apart this week. After the jump, YOU get the chance to contact President Suberov’s wife….


Yeah. Ricky. I thought for awhile he was fighting “Ricky” and wanted to be “Rick”. Guess that didn’t go so well. He’s Ricky now. And he’s Curtis’ replacement. He like computers, he likes grabbing throats, and he had an incident in “Denver” with Milo. Yup. He’s going the way of “Frodo” from last season. Dead in 6. You can quote me on that. And how come it takes 8 hours to get someone from Denver to LA? With Curtis down, there wasn’t a replacement immediately? C’mon. It’s like the whole Karen trying to get from DC to LA. She told us she was going to the airport – and then 10 hours later she’s sitting watching TV on her phone. C’mon people – our government moves at the same speed J.K. Rowling writes Harry Potter books… Speed ’em up a bit, k? Just for fun?

So…. It seemed weird that Mrs. Logan would have so much trouble getting in touch with her “good friend.” Ok – the real question is – why is the Mrs. President of Russia giving a speech at 5 AM? Yeah, I did the math, Moscow is 10 hours ahead of LA. Hey – anyone over there want to check their math? You wouldn’t be interrupting a speech, you’d be waking her up. And even if she WAS giving a speech at 5 AM – why can’t we interrupt it? Because it’s against “Russian diplomacy”? Ok. I’ll keep that in mind.

A belt? A belt. That’s all Jack needs is a freakin’ belt?? Ok. You know what – puh-lease. What’s the point of having all that going on?

My favorite line of the night:

Russian Ambassador: We can not have him contacting the outside. Shut down everything. Phone lines, DSL – everything.

DSL? DSL. And I don’t know who everyone is using as service for their cell phones – but I want it. They can call from the bowels of the Russian Embassy, from the depths of CTU – and still get through with crystal clear clarity. Seriously. I can’t even get a signal from the middle of my living room. I’m not saying everything needs to be real, but every once in awhile – maybe a “What did you say? Could you repeat that? You cut off at the end there.” *sigh* It’s just the little things…

Now – my next question – why is ANYONE still in LA? Much less California? I don’t know about anyone here, but if someone nuked Wrigleyville – The last thing I would be doing is thinking, “Welp. At least I’m safe here in Berwyn….” Nope. Not a chance. I’d be packing up the car, scooping up the dog and pulling the shutters on the house and tearing off for someplace remote – like Kenosha. Kenosha I bet would be pretty safe. Or Gary. Yeah, probably Gary. There’s nothing in Gary. That’s a place the terrorists would never even consider bombing. And I bet I wouldn’t be alone. Every god-damned individual in the midwest would be considering their options. So… why are the streets moderately clear, not jam-packed with everyday traffic, much less nuclear-bomb-inspired traffic, and why would the CONSULATE keep their dimplomats in a “hot zone” like that? Anyone? Anyone? Right. Because we need to be able to get to place to place within an hour. And the only way to do that is to make LA the hotbed of terrorist and political activity rather than the more obvious “DC” target. It only makes sense.

At one point, I would also love to see a little “Family Guy” style cutaway – one in which we see what the Scientologists are doing. Or, cut to a shot of the local evening news doing the weather,

“Tonight, the cloud is moving in a soth-easterly direction. So those of you living in Englewood, be sure to duck tape your houses shut, and don’t emerge until next Wednesday. Expect to see highs in the upper 70s. We now go to Ted with shakeups in the Dodgers lineup. Ted?”

And yeah – it’s about time Logan died. Never liked the freakin’ born again. Generally, don’t like born-again’s in general. Much less ex-President born-again’s. And I don’t know about you, but if the ex-President came back to me and said,

“Let me help you. I know I killed a bunch of American’s… but I can help. Look at these eyes. You can trust me. Let me talk to the ex-wife that wants to see me dead. That’s what I need to do to save the world. Cool? Cool.”

And why does every Dove President have a Hawk Vice President? Really – ANY movie, TV show, book, YouTube video – how about just once, there are running mates that actually share a perspective? Powers Boothe is great, I like how dirty he is, but c’mon – why make him the Veep? Make him the Speaker of the House, and kill off the Veep AND the President – how awesome would THAT be???

And a quick question…. What happened to Jack’s Dad and Lover ex-Girlfriend Sex Puppet from the Past Sister-in-Law? The whole, “Jack has another son from another woman” line still hasn’t been tied up. (no pun intended)

And I used to like Aaron. But he’s getting soft. According to him – “She acted too quickly, and I couldn’t stop her.” When discussing with Bill what happened to Logan. She acted too quickly? The crazy woman who had already thrown kiwi and insults at her ex-husband who drove her crazy in the first place “surprised” a secret service agent? Really? Is that too much for him too handle? Ok – not just him, but the three other agents standing around there… Too much. — speaking of kiwi – would anyone really trust any “fresh fruit” when fallout is in the air? Yeah. Didn’t think so. I’d go canned too. DelMonte is your friend.

I’m gonna leave with Rules of 24 #278,983:

If trying to evade sweeping teams of soldiers inside an enemy fortification/building – always hide in the ceiling. They NEVER look for you there. It’s the only logical place to go.

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