Tonight! Macalester College!
You know what our ole’ Unlce Persnickety used to say? Why do one Minnesota college when you can do two? Well, Unky Persnickety, you’re right! Tonight we are doing our second college show in Minnesota! This time at Macalester College. I’d tell you all the details, but I think I’ll turn the post over to the gorgeous Ms. Anne Zander. Anne – why don’t you tell the audience at home where tonight’s show is gonna be.
So this venue is the John B. Davis Lecture Hall (JBD) in the basement of the Campus Center. The address is 1600 Grand Ave, or the Southwest corner of Snelling and Grand. When you walk into the campus center, the stairs are on your left. Go down, take a left and then a right. We’ll put up signs with arrows!
Well that’s just perfect. And what time is the show?
9 PM.
Fantastic. And why don’t you go ahead and tell everyone if they are in the neighborhood, to go ahead and email us – and we’ll fill them in on the party details.
Didn’t you just do that?
Hey. You wanna keep the sass down to a minimum? ‘Cuz I will come back there and –
See you at the show.
Special 24 Post! Jack Bauer-Kill Count!
In all my wrap-ups of 24, I’ve never once thought of giving a number to the count of people Jack kills. It’s not outrageous (unless he’s using his belt) and it just seems like it’s part of the job. But when someone comes along, and ACTUALLY puts a whole site together…. Well, I’ll tell you – this Bauer fan has to spread the love! And it is kinda ridiculous when you start seeing it in spreadsheet format. These guys go into some pretty awesome detail, naming the character (Foreign Bozo #2) and the item with which he was killed (windshield shrapnel to the neck). Just visit in prepartaion for Monday night! [BauerCount.com]
Plus – after the jump – a 24 Bonus Video!!
Tonight! Carleton College!
We’d tell you where and when – but it’s against campus policy. And we don’t want to break campus policy. So… we’ll just say…. we’re in Northfield, Minnesota tonight. Doing a show. Somewhere. Near (perhaps ON) the Carleton Campus… If you’re in the neighborhood – email us. We MIGHT tell you where – but more importantly, we’ll let you know where the party is.
Must Visit Site.
From DailyHaiku.com
Ok, this game sucks.
Who cares where the bottle lands?
I’m not kissing Dick.
These guys do it everyday… Honor them.
Google Bomb
This one is a technology/social experiment.
Have I peaked your interest? I know I have. After the jump, my plan, and how I need your help!
College Parties! Flipcup! Cops!
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So check it! We don’t have video from Macalester – so we dug this out of the mothballs! Here’s Schadenfreude playing the time-honored game of FlipCup with the gang from Arizona State University! And even though the cops showed up – it did not deter from continuing the party! Macalester – get ready… we excel at FlipCup!
Getting a Ticket (PSA)
Here’s a tip when stopped for entering an intersection when the light is yellow, and there’s two of Chicago’s Finest just finishing up going through a McDonald’s Drive-Thru – looking for a way to justify getting those two #2s.
First off – when the cop asks you, “Where are you in such a hurry to?” – It’s a rhetorical question – just hand him your driver’s license and insurance. If you try to answer, he’s bound to say,
We could stand here and chat all day, or we could move this along by you giving me your driver’s license and proof of insurance.
Secondly – if you think about it, just go ahead and roll down your passenger window, because the cop’s partner is coming up on the other side of you – and wants to ask you a question.
Oh – what’s that? Right – I will hand over my driver’s license and insurance to Cop #1. Thank you for reminding me I should do that.
And lastly – when the cop is standing AT THE WINDOW, and you need to go into your bag (which is in the backseat) to get your driver’s license because, crazy you, you sometimes put your wallet in your bag because you’re driving, and you hate driving on that bulge, VERY SUBTLY take off your seat belt to reach for it. Because….
When he comes back with your ticket – it will allow him the opportunity to say (very magnaminously)
I could have given you a moving violation, but I’m not. You get to keep your license. But, I did notice that you were not wearing your seatbelt. SO I wrote you up a ticket for that. I would consider that a gift.
Thanks for the early birthday present, Mr. Officer, sir.
On the Road Again!
Hey all, we are on the road today! Yippie! Anyone want any cheese curds? kit kat balls? Lotto tickets? road porn? ranch flavored pringles? I mean you name it, and we’ll stop and get it. Fireworks? God is great paraphenalia? Let us know what you want and we’ll get it. Just let us know. Anyone need any deer jerkey?
Look Out Ladies!
The “ladies” of Schadenfreude are going on the road this weekend!
And from what I can tell from this picture, they have a naughty secret. Pictured (from L to R): Dave Foley, Kevin McDonald and Mark McKinney.
And from what I can tell from this picture, they have a naughty secret. Pictured (from L to R): Dave Foley, Kevin McDonald and Mark McKinney.
An Afternoon Parable….
Take this to heart next time you are faced with a difficult decision:
It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, the grashopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns.And he got a race car.
So gather your nuts, you nagging grasshopper.
Thanks Futurama!
Danny Gloverth Got Marbleth in hith Mouth
Has anybody seen Shooter yet? If not, go see it. It’s hot.
Bigger point, though, is that Danny Glover is in it and he’s got the strangest lisp during the entire movie. It’s the strangest thing you’ve ever heard. He’s not in the movie all that much, so it’s not too distracting, but when he comes into a scene, you start to giggle.
Kate and I decided that if we were directing Shooter, we probably would’ve fired Danny Glover. He takes away from every scene with those braces or marbles or whatever.
Other than the fact that he’s very hit and miss (Tenenbaums GOOD, Grand Canyon BAD), I’m permanently biased against him because my brother’s friend can’t stand him and really makes a hilarious case as to why Danny Glover sucks.
As him about it at Schad’s show at Carelton College tomorrow night.
Who’s A Fan of the USPS?
Ha! Gotcha! Turns out the USPS is a fan of Star Wars as much as Adam, Sandy and Justin Kate Me. All the hullabaloo is about the 30th Anniversary since the release of Star Wars. Everything from redesigned mailboxes to a wholly redesigned website. On top of that, they let you vote on a stamp! All fans check this out!
Let it just be said right now, that next year marks the 30th Anniversary of the release of Debbie Does Dallas. Can’t wait until those stamps come out. And I got a few suggestions on how to redesign the site. I surf porn all the time.
My Spoon Is Too Big!
The story is in the opening crawl – and you have to read it. I know we at Schad. pride ourselves on kicking out pretty good material quick, but these… well, they are reminiscent of “Peanut Butter Jelly Time” – and someone tried to sell them as commercials.
And I promise you at lunch, you’re gonna be saying, “My spoon is too big.” (Oh yeah, this is KINDA safe for work! Watch at least the first one.)
What The College Kids Are Throwing Away
Back in ‘04 we had a radio show on Chicago Public Radio. Don’t look for it, it’s not there anymore. During that same time, we were also on the road, touring at several colleges. At one of the shows, we were invited to a “house party” – and lo and behold – what should adorn the bathroom trash? But this gorgeous scene. We often do galleries of photos from the road following these shows – and we originally posted this pic with the gallery. “Worried” about our reputation being a part of the Chicago Public Radio family – we decided in good taste to take it down.
Well, since we got excommunicated from that family – we figured, “To heck with it, let’s post it.”
And with that caveat – it’s up to you to click the jump to see it in it’s glory….
RoboJacko Will Eat You!
Burning Man? Passe. Bonaroo? Predictable. Burning Jackson-roo! That’s today! That’s now. If I were planning the return for Michael Jackson – I would have pitched a 50 foot fire-breathing, stomping, car-crushing, mechanical, baby-dropping, child-screwing robot!
…his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital.
Wanna read the whole thing? Click here. But really, there’s no need to – I told you the best part.
Cormac McCarthy: FINALLY Sexy For Housewives!!
Oprah, who invented reading a few years ago when she started a nation-wide bookclub, announced her new selection this morning: Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road”. McCarthy, who is known as being very reclusive, has aggreed to do his FIRST TV INTERVIEW EVER with Oprah! What? Don’t do it Cormac! Don’t change your hermit ways — let alone for Oprah!! Sure, you’ll sell over a million copies to her audience alone, but I guarantee you’ll sell more if you don’t appear. American housewives like post-apocolyptic authors who play hard to get. Trust me. Or maybe you could sneak in an interview BEFORE you appear on Oprah — maybe Charlie Rose or Larry King?? Cormac, listen to me! She doesn’t care about you — she just wants to say that she was your first. And then she’s going to ask Patty Splaynek to Prom instead of you, because Patty has a jacuzzi and her parents are going to be gone over Prom weekend!! Consider yourself warned!
It’s Time for a Chicago Sports Rant!!!!!!
QUICK, time me! I have 20 seconds to finish today’s CHICAGGOOOO SPPOORRTTSSS RANTT!!!!!
Hey Lance, screw you. 7 million for you to miss Arizona Wide outs in the open field? Bears, take the 6th pick from the Redskins and let this guy wallow in Joe Gibbs misery. So Kerry Wood and Mark Prior start on the DL for the 3rd or 4th year in a row? I’m accepting new members on the White Sox bandwagon. Tejada would look nice in a Cub uniform, ey? Hey Bulls, don’t be lame and lose to the Wizards in the first round. That would be super lame. And Ozzie – no fag jokes this year ok? I love your attitude, but learn from Lovie and the Bears…the media isn’t your friend. They are the enemy. Go Arena Football!!
Guess Who’s Back in the MuthaFu#@# House!
Attention all chicks with dicks! There has been an Adam Witt sighting in Chicago. Witt is back for the college tour and he is ready to take your requests.
Who Would You Want to See Open for Live?
Last night we were going over jokes for this weekend in Minnesota and we threw out that we should tell the audience we brought a suprise guest, Bob Mould! or the band “Live”. I just remembered my brother told me Live just played at the Riviera last week and sold the shit out of it. So I have a new game today. Tell me, what band would like to see open for “Live”? My thoughts? Dada, The Posies, the rest of the guys from Sublime? So who would you want to see?
Behold!…uh, wait behold on a second…
Let me hear no more “Indiana Depends” jokes, he’s a college professor, they age, but Stallone looks like shit in Rambo IV! Or John Rambo as they’ve renamed it. Actually he looked like shit in Rocky Balboa but I didn’t say anything, hey, it’s Rocky, but John Rambo was never the ugly, stupid sad-sack that Rocky was
I can’t wait for this though, I love that Stallone’s giving his characters a full-name-title sendoff. Plus, I think all movies should be forced to make a sequel. How great a world would it be if no movie was allowed to just be one movie. If Citizen Kane or Klute had sequels. I’d love that. I bet there’d be a lot of movies like French Connection II