Random Observations from Watching Oscars

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I’ll keep it short because if you really want Oscar coverage, you’ll find somewhere else. I’m the dude who isn’t invited to the Oscar parties anymore because I a) talk and b) make fun of it. So if you want real Oscar coverage, go to some blog that makes a bit of scratch from Google Ads. After the jump, I’ll share a couple random observations I would’ve shared at an Oscar party.

holysign2.jpg

I’ll keep it short because if you really want Oscar coverage, you’ll find somewhere else. I’m the dude who isn’t invited to the Oscar parties anymore because I a) talk and b) make fun of it. So if you want real Oscar coverage, go to some blog that makes a bit of scratch from Google Ads. After the jump, I’ll share a couple random observations I would’ve shared at an Oscar party.


1) I think the secret to being nominated for an oscar is to be on a late 90′s black sitcom.

2) I called out to Julie that I thought Hellen Murrin was a sexpot. Joan Rivers said she was a few seconds after. Cunning!

3) When a star (Kirsten Dunst) shows up with a family member, Julie says that is not because she wants to share with her family the surreal experience, it’s because she’s dating someone and she doesn’t want to deal with the press.

4) Kirsten Dunst is going to go home and google herself and see this. Imagine that, a blogger from the midwest telling people what she is thinking.

5) Did I just see a commercial for a knee? Seriously, a knee?

6) Jack Black, Will Ferrrel and John C. Reilly are the Chevy Chase, Steve Martin and Martin Short of this generation.

7) The actors might as well wrap themselves in sponsors like Nascar. That’s essentially what they are doing. More logos.

8) Al Gore didn’t lose did he. He may not be President, but he has respect and didn’t have to deal with the bullshit of 9/11 and all that. Good deal Gore.

9) When Steven Carrell was being interviewed on the red carpet, Sasha Cohen came in and they minimized the Carrell interview to show him. Is that a metaphor for who’s hottest?

10) If I went to the Oscars with Julie, I think we wouldn’t have a good time. I would inevitably be driven by my adult ADD and Julie would show the cameras several different “Justin you are pissing me off” looks that we would be plastered all over the tabloids. Then I would get lit at the party and make out with Jennifer Hudson.