Waky Waky Eggs and Bakey!

Justin - New Website 01.jpg

Thursday morning from the land of American Idol auditions and Vente Grande Lattes. It’s just another morning in my life. Won’t you share it with me? After the jump?

Justin - New Website 01.jpg

Thursday morning from the land of American Idol auditions and Vente Grande Lattes. It’s just another morning in my life. Won’t you share it with me? After the jump?

Justin - New Website 01.jpg

I have spent every Tuesday and Wednesday night for the past 8 years working with Schadenfreude at various offices/theaters/sandy apartments. I’ve missed a lot. This week, we have a much needed break from the Schad action. I have vegged out on the couch and am soaking up American pop-culture. My diagnosis? America needs to join a sketch group. Seriously, get out and take some improv classes and think about starting up a sketch comedy ensemble. That way, you will miss American Idol. You will skip out on the State of the Unions. You will not eat boring Totinos pizza. Instead, you will be living your life and only seeing Simon Cowell impressions on SNL. It’s about the same, really. I realize that America needs something to do. Or else. Or else Simon Cowell and the Beauty and the Geek cast will become your new Running Man or 1984. STOP!

RKELLY IS MY MAIN MAN

I said it. Everyone else can get on me about it. But I think R. Kelly is a great musician. There is something about EVERYTHING he puts out on CD that speaks to me. Not the crappy lyrics about the ladies or all the “Chi” references, but the music. He has something, a panache that I can’t put my finger on. But it speaks to me. It’s unique, sharp and soulful. It is the kind of music I would want to put out if I had a pop-star career. The new “I’m a Flirt” with Twista is sublime. This is the follow up to “That’s That Shit” with Snoop. All after “Trapped in the Closet”. This creep can roll.

NOTE TO CHARLIES ALE HOUSE

The Sirloin in your Chili shouldn’t taste like a moldy bin from your downstairs storage locker. It’s just not what I want my food to taste like. Unless that was what you were going for.

KATRINA KICK

I don’t know about y’all, but I am really into the plight of New Orleans now. I am pissed the President didn’t mention Katrina AT ALL in his State of the Union. What is that about? His dumbshit advisors said they weren’t going to talk about domestic issues. But did I hear a September 11th reference? Yes I did. Anyway, I am going to get the Spike Lee documentary on Netflix this week. Maybe I can thank the Red Cross for keeping Katrina on the brain. I donated to them to help the cause and they now send me mass e-mail after mass e-mail about other shit. So that’s nice.

MIKE, YOU GIVE GREAT E-MAIL

I would like to quote my buddy Mike from his e-mail after we joked about how cool it was that the Bears would be playing touch football and charity golfing in Miami for 2 weeks.

Please let all the arrests happen to the Colts.
“Bob Sanders apprehended in South Beach gentelman’s club with cocaine and firearm.”
“Eli Manning found in Broward, County motel room with 16 year old prostitute and 2 ounces of marijuana. Peyton distraught.”
“Tony Dungy’s son’s myspace page re-launched with suicide details.”
“Jeff Saturday’s hard drive search reveals 3,000 pictures of children in compromising positions.”
“Dallas Clark arrested in gay nightclub scandal in Palm Beach. ‘Floppy jock snake walk’ contest busted by federal authorities.”

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