Zicam, Anyone?

zicam.jpg

Anyone else sick? Is it just me? I was feeling fine up until about 4-5 days ago, and then slowly, over the course of the last week – have been in this downward spiral of hacking, green stuff and lack of sleep. I went into work one day, to try and get some shit done, and made the mistake of asking my co-workers what to do to get over the common cold.

Their suggestions? After the jump.

zicam.jpg

Anyone else sick? Is it just me? I was feeling fine up until about 4-5 days ago, and then slowly, over the course of the last week – have been in this downward spiral of hacking, green stuff and lack of sleep. I went into work one day, to try and get some shit done, and made the mistake of asking my co-workers what to do to get over the common cold.

Their suggestions? After the jump.

zicam.jpg

Anyone else sick? Is it just me? I was feeling fine up until about 4-5 days ago, and then slowly, over the course of the last week – have been in this downward spiral of hacking, green stuff and lack of sleep. I went into work one day, to try and get some shit done, and made the mistake of asking my co-workers what to do to get over the common cold.

Their big ideas? Here’s a shortlist – with the results:

  • Eat garlic. When asked how much – the reply was, “As much as you can.” So I tried that on night one. 3 cloves. Not very tasty. The Result: No affect on the cold, and now all my farts (which have increased dramatically) smell garlicy. I’m a freaking walking Italian Methane plant.
  • Airborne. This one seems pretty standard. Anytime Walgreen’s makes a rip-off of a product, it’s reached mainstream. Ibuprofen –> Wal-Profen. Kool-Aid –> Wal-Aid. Airborne –> Wal-borne. I think the Wal-Pod is coming soon. The Result: I’ve been popping these things and drinking the fizzy, pink grapefuit flavored water for 5 days – and all I have to do is pee more.
  • Zicam Nose Thingies. Pictured. Now this is a strange action. Get a Q-tip all “juiced up” with gunk. Then, stick it up your nose, repeat every 4 hours. The Result: I’m addicted. Need. More. Zicam. Better than coke.
  • A shot of vodka with pepper. Yeah, this came from a Russian programmer. I think he uses a shot of vodka for everything. Problem with installing WIndows Vista? Take a shot of vodka. Problem with the carbouretor? Take a shot of vodka. Problem with the wife? Take a shot of vodka and smack her across the face. Taking a shot of vodka with pepper – perhaps the WORST idea. What else is there to say? Don’t do it.
  • Sleep. This just makes you more tired. And awake at weird times. Today, I had to watch an hour of People’s Court. I’d rather have the cold then have to watch another minute of that crap. The Result: Death is a better option.

So. Does anyone have any GOOD ideas? I really want to get over this.

Really bad.

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