Tuesday 24 Wrap Up

24 is back, and better than ever. Filled with more implausablilities, loopholes, and questions than Michael Mann’s Miami Vice starring Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx.

Let’s just get this out of the way first… Jack Bauer is the greatest hero character to be written – stage or screen – since the Guttenberg Press kicked out the first printed copy of the Bible.

Wanna know what happened, what should have happened, what will happen? More after the jump.

24 is back, and better than ever. Filled with more implausablilities, loopholes, and questions than Michael Mann’s Miami Vice starring Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx.

Let’s just get this out of the way first… Jack Bauer is the greatest hero character to be written – stage or screen – since the Guttenberg Press kicked out the first printed copy of the Bible.

Wanna know what happened, what should have happened, what will happen? More after the jump.


24 is back, and better than ever. Filled with more implausablilities, loopholes, and questions than Michael Mann’s Miami Vice starring Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx.

Let’s just get this out of the way first… Jack Bauer is the greatest hero character to be written – stage or screen – since the Guttenberg Press kicked out the first printed copy of the Bible.

The two-night premiere picked up where it should have – with another black president. Granted, David Palmer was the perfect president – calm, cool, knew when to put Jack in place, and knew when to just let Jack be Jack. But now we have his brother. The sympathy vote. Awwww, your brother died. YOU should be president! Because, you know, that’s how presidents are elected.

Also mentioned is that Karen and Bill are married. Awww, how sweet. Since we lost the Designing Woman from last season, we had to find a way to keep the “older” demographic interested – so why not spice it up with a little inter-department relationship? Just everyone remember what happened to Tony and Mrs. Almeida last season.

Brenda from 227 and Chicago-Local Harry Lennix make it into the show this season, and this introuduces another new maxim… If you introduce two new characters – and they are black, one will be related to the President, and the other will be her lover. Seriously, did anyone NOT see that coming?

And then there’s Chloe. Everyone’s favorite nerd in a dress. Workplace chaos hits her as well – the dude she woke up with last season, and her ex-husband in the same workplace… And I gotta be honest, I don’t like either of them. Milo is just an emo-fuck who learned how type, and Morris is like a Euro-Trash nerd-version of Jack – disregards the rules, and makes things up as he goes along – except BAD. And with a terrible accent. The guy gives me the creeps, and I’d be happy if both of them went the way of Frodo from last season.

Oh yeah, and Natasha, or Nicole or Nadia – whatever her name is who is “heading up” CTU. Don’t like her either. She picked bad clothes to wear, she looks too wound up, and she’s really unnecessary. She’s too busy “following the rules” to realize the world is blowing up around her.

Finally, there’s Jack. Jack Bauer. Spends 2 years in a Chinese prison being tortured – scars on his back and front and hands (was it me, or did it look like the makeup on the hand was peeling off?) – and he doesn’t say a word. The man goes 2 years without speaking a single word. He’s that committed to his country. AND he offers to give his life for the country – and that’s where the questions begin. If you’re a terrorist, interested in creating chaos – WHY WOULD YOU REQUEST THE RELEASE OF THE ONE MAN WHO COULD STOP YOU? Rule #1 – if your nemesis is locked up in a foreign prison, being tortured, and is out of your way, keep him there! *SIGH** Some people just weren’t born to be smart terrorists, I guess.

Ok. So Jack is back in the US, and wants to die. And honestly, I would have been OK giving this what he asked for – death. He’s had a pretty wild 5 days in his life, and can only imagine what would be in store for him on Day 6 – so you know what, let him go. He’s served his- WAIT!? WHAT?! It was all a setup? Jack was bait in a bait and switch?? Jack can’t die knowing his death was useless – that would defeat everything he has ever stood for – yadda yadda yadda. The determination, and way the training just clicked back on, and the way Jack always does what’s right at the moment (including shooting Curtis – no SHIT! CURTIS!) It’s that kind of character that America needs to believe is fighting for us – I want to believe Jack Bauer is out there RIGHT NOW jumping from lead to lead to prevent a terrorist attack in LA.

Other surprises? Kumar (from Harold and Kumar go to White Castle) is a terrorist, and dead. What’s great about that? 24 plays on the reverse prejudice that is prevalent in America – the redneck accuses Kumar of being a terrorist, and the “nice family across the street” goes out to defend him. Taking him in, telling the neighbors to chill out, etc. Only to find out that Kumar IS a terrorist, and attempts to kill the family in order to deliver a “device” to his terrorist comrades. Moral of the story? If you suspect someone of being a terrorist – he is, don’t worry about being racist.

Alright, alright. 24 also set off a nuke in Valencia. Somewhere near LA? Need to Google Map that. But yeah, a suitcase nuke went off, and there’s 4 more to stop this season.

And with that, Jack’s back.

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